I have not posted a blog in what seems like forever, so here is a little update on me. Right now, I am currently enjoying the last few days of my two week break from school. My first semester of graduate school kicked my booty in more ways than one… but I made it through, and I am so expectant for what is to come. About a week ago, my grandpa moved from Indiana to KC, and in about a week, we are moving into a new home. This has been a season full of transition and new beginnings, and it has required an abundance of open-mindedness and patience – both with myself and others. During this season, I have stepped into my faith more than ever before, and I have felt more joy than ever before.
This Sunday, at Hillsong KC, Pastor Liz gave us a “Season Survival Guide” to help navigate our seasons of life. The word she brought was amazing, and I am so thankful for her passion and obedience to the Lord. As I reflect on her sermon, I cannot help but meditate on how far I have come in the last year.
A year ago, I was the happiest I had ever been. I was starting my senior year of college, living with my best friends, dating a boy, and overall loving life. I truly thought that I was happy, and that I could not ask for more. What I did not know, or maybe just did not want to acknowledge at the time, was that I was a twenty-one year old girl who was still allowing others to define her. I let a boy define me, I let my friends define me, I let my sorority and popularity status define me… and I never felt like I was fully myself. Do not take this the wrong way – I loved that boy, and I still love my friends and my sorority with my whole heart. Looking back at my past, I would never want to change it because it brought me to where I am today. However, I am so grateful to no longer be stuck in that season of life.
Over the past year, I have learned to advocate for myself. I have learned that I deserve nothing less than the love I give to others, and that I should never lower my standards. I have come to know and love that my worth is found in Christ, and Christ alone defines me. I have stopped comparing myself to others because I know that God has a plan and purpose for me, and that plan and purpose are not the same as anyone elses. I have stepped into my faith more fully, and I have learned to use my God gifts to lead others. I have made some of the best friends of my future, and I have been able to feel at home in my church community. I have become more vulnerable; I have let my walls down and have allowed myself to open my heart to others. I can whole-heartedly say that I am the happiest I have ever been, and I feel as if I step into my true self more and more each day.
I do not say this all to brag or to gain attention; rather, I want to highlight God’s amazing ways. Although I look the same on the outisde, my heart and soul have forever been changed by Him. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour over fifteen years ago, but at tweenty-two years old, I have never felt Him be so present in my life. He did not change, but I did. I decided to chase after His heart more fully, and in turn, He has changed mine in so many profound ways.
A year from now, I hope I am even more on fire for Jesus. I hope I am even more grateful for my past and expectant for my future. I know God will get me through whichever season is next, but for now, I am trying to live more fully, more confidently, and more contently in my current season.
Hey God, Thank you for navigating me through all of life's seasons. Thank you for continually showing up in big and little ways to guide me in your plan for me. Thank you for how far you have brought me in the past year, I know I would not be where I am now without you. I pray today for the individuals that will read this post. I pray that you would show up in their lives in undeniable ways. That they would come to know you - maybe for the first time or maybe just in a new and deeper way. I pray that you guide them through whatever season they are in, and that they would have peace in your presence. Lord, I pray that whatever valleys they may face, would only allow them to more fully trust in You and more fully know the joy that only You can bring. I pray this all in Jesus name and with a grateful heart, Amen. "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven" - Ecclesiastes 3:1 (ESV)